I prayed about this, whether I should put a testimony or not. & God is moving me, right now. I didn’t really want to do this, but I want to share with you, who I am, why I am who I am and my experiences and whatnot.
My name is a combination of my birth parent’s names Al- being from my dad’s name and -reeze (reese) being from my mom’s name & Crystal just came from one of my godparents. My first “legal” name is Alreeze Crystal. Anyways, I was born in Stockton, CA in the year, 1993. During the years of elementary school (Kindergarden-6th), I did go to catechism (church school) at St. Luke’s Parish in Stockton, CA. But, I didn’t understand what or why I was attending, I just went because my mother enrolled me and told me to go. I didn’t really understand the meaning of religion or anything. Thus, I received most of the sacraments, Baptism, Reconciliation, Holy Eucharist & Confirmation. I believed in God and as a young kid, I tried to be the best (what I believed to be) Catholic I could of been. My family would always attend mass, regularly on Sundays. But, that was it. Now, back-tracking .. in the third grade, I didn’t really want to go to mass or catechism anymore.
Third grade story: One afternoon, my mother picked my younger sister and I from school. Like a normal child, I was tired and took a nap. I didn’t know what was happening. When I woke up, my mother was no where in sight. I asked my sister where she was, and replied: She went to the mail store. The post office was right across the street from her office. Then, the phone rang and my sister picked up the phone, and plays with the customers, but this customer was my father. He asked where my mom was, and she told him: not here. My dad was furious. Then, she hung up the phone. I went back to sleep and woke up about thirty minutes later. My dad was yelling at my mom, in front of her employees. She was crying, I couldn’t understand at the time. But, my dad threatened my mother and took my sister and I with him. He was driving like fast and the furious, and stopped by our grandparents’ (dad’s parents) to pick up our baby sister. Then, went home. He was yelling at us and told us to tell our mom to come home and threatened us. He threatened me the most, pointing a knife at my sisters while he gave the phone to me. We were all crying, scared to death, didn’t know what was going on or why. My mother called the police and brought our favorite auntie (her employee) at the time with her. Before they came, police came to our door and took our daddy right in front of us. Then, they put my two sisters in the room and tried to ask them questions, but since I was the oldest, they asked me and I had to explain everything, I could understand. Ten minutes into waiting for our mom and playing with the cop that was watching us, my mom, our favorite auntie and our mama and papa came.
In April 2001, my parents were officially divorced.
Back to time, after elementary school and graduating from catechism, middle school was a complete different environment. I completely forgot about God and my religion, even into my high school years.
Sophomore year came around and so did a retreat for CFC-FFL. Two brothers and a sister from our school brought my best friends (at the time) and I to the retreat. It was an inspiring experience. Being myself, I was shy at first but towards the end, of course I opened up. I will never really forget my first camp retreat. After camp, I was an “off-n-on” attendee. Most of the meetings we’re on Sundays, which were my dad’s days. But, after another incident, I started staying with my mom. So, after church, my mom would bring me to meetings, drop me off and pick me up. I was always with my sisters and brothers every Sunday. No one else could of related at school, except my best friends and sisters and brothers.
Weird Love Story:
- Sorry, I’m jumping in and out of the story, but I feel like I should give the whole complete details.
Weird Love Story (continued): So, at camp. Everyone kept asking who their CC’s (Camp Crush) were. & I actually had one. I started talked to this brother and hung out with him, for like two months. & It was because of him, my boyfriend when I was at camp, broke it off. Then, I just don’t know things were getting better in a way, relationship-wise. I really had a big crush on this guy. But, one day (December 5th, 2008) came around and I was supposed to go see that brother and hung out with him and make it official. But, I came across an ex-boyfriend of mine, with my cousin (whom was his favorite ading). It was so awkward, but it was God’s plan. Instead of going to the mall, I stayed. I caught up with this ex of mine, and I talked about my problems with him. I got into trouble that night, but it was worth it. I cherished that talk and that night. I stopped talking to the other brother and we just went our separate ways. I started hanging out with my ex more, talking and catching up and whatnot. We knew we were building up our relationship again, so we made it official on January 1st. Spring camp retreat came around. I was struggling to find someone to bring to camp, so I brought my kuya’s nephew, who I amazing got closer to over time. I also tricked my boyfriend into coming to camp. He only wanted to go to fight that brother I was talking to before him. But, camp really changed the reason he was there. It was a blessing. I cleared the air with the brother and my boyfriend opened his heart and mind, and came back to God because I brought him to camp.
End of love story, back to my testimony: There was more people, I could talk to, about everything that was going on. It was truly a blessing. Then, two meetings after camp. I decided to just leave the ministry. A sister went off on me, like she knew was going on in my life. It just really upset me at the time. (I’m just saying, she could of at least understood me, before anything and why I wasn’t going anymore.) Anyways, than I just randomly decided to come back after a month or so. Because things were getting better, in a way.
With the ministry: Ever since I came back, I devoted myself to the ministry in a way. I’m very active. I’ve been fighting for my relationship to be accepted by the ministry. & Praise God, it finally has. I’ve seen people leave and come, and stay. Leaving for unreasonable reasons, they just don’t seem to understand, but it’s okay. God’s plan. Sisters and brothers come every now and then to see how they feel about the ministry. & Some sisters and brothers stay because of what they know the ministry has to offer them. Everything has happened for a reason, because it’s all God’ great plan for us, for the ministry.
Yes, there have been plenty of times where my faith was attacked, even spiritually but that never stopped me from what I love doing. Saving lives, serving Him, understanding me, him and others. There have been a couple of times where I just wanted to up and leave and never come back, but I can’t. God calls me for a reason. & Everything has always been His individual plan for me. I don’t understand why, but good or bad, it has always been a blessing.
There is still so much to learn, it’s been three years and this is still just the beginning.
My actions may not be holy, but as a sinner, as a human. I can only keep striving and keep praying for the days of my life where I will be holy, until the Lord takes me away from this life. “Of this world” may keep attacking me, but realize, God made us. We are “of this world”, therefore “of this world” were made for a purpose. Open your eyes, minds and hearts to more than just a specific or particular reason. There are many reasons and my reason for this testimony.
I serve God, with who I am, as I am. He made me into the person I am. I am who he wants me to be. Understand me, get to know. Only He can judge me. Only He can truly love me as much as the first family He gave to me. In the good and bad times, I still serve the Lord. My purpose is to change the hearts, open the eyes and hearts and minds of my fellow sisters and brothers. My purpose is to make a difference. Even if it may not me holy. My purpose to strive to help other believe that there is a God, there is only One God and that He has saved us, He is the Great Almighty. My purpose is to help build His empire of believers and prayer warriors. Good and bad, as long as they know it is only He whom exists and we must always pray and devote ourselves to him in any way possible.